We’ve all done it at one time of another; used a bad unsecure password. I’m actually certain you’re still using at least one now somewhere.

Really, who hasn’t used one of their pet’s or child’s names as a password? Maybe you thought you were smart and added a number to the end of it to make it “clever” and harder to guess. I’m sorry to say but the only person you’re fooling is yourself and leaving the doors wide open.

I hope at the same time you didn’t also use that password as your end all, be all password that you use everywhere, write it on a Post It note and stick it on your computer monitor (but there again, I’m sure you’ve done that too).

Let’s try to fix that right now.

Scope of this article

Password are used everywhere now a days: Facebook, Twitter, email, YouTube, web banking, computer login (what, your computer isn’t using a password to login?), WiFi networks, garage door combination, even your phone. That’s only scratching the surface. Almost every website service you use requires some form of login and password. I have well over 60 different services that I use that all require a username and password.

Now I’m not going to get into creating passwords that brute force computers couldn’t get into. I’m talking about improving your current passwords for the majority of users so that humans and basic scripts couldn’t easily get through. If you’re concerned about creating passwords that a computer designed to break into your service couldn’t figure out within a reasonable time frame, then this isn’t the article for you and you have much more reading to do.

Let’s just say that a basic computer (under $1000) can easily go through 30 billion words/ second. In perspective, the Oxford English Dictionary lists over 250,000 distinct words. These don’t include slang or words that belong to multiple word classes (e.g. plural words). So let’s bump that up to 1 million just for the fun of it. That means a computer could go through every word in the English dictionary a fraction of a second. Even combining two words together doesn’t make a dent in the calculations. Do I have your attention now?

The problems we have with passwords

1. We’re lazy – Passwords are closed doors in our path to getting what we want. We want the quickest way in, so we use password that are quick to type and think about. We don’t want to think and so we also reuse that same password on a variety of services that require them. We can easily remember our child’s or pet’s names.
2. We forget – Let’s be real. We have millions of things running through our heads every day. We don’t want to have to remember another thing. That’s why people write their passwords down and again use the same set of passwords over and over.
3. “It won’t happen to me” mentality – We all know we should use better passwords, but almost everyone thinks, “Who’s going to want my information?”, “It’s not going to happen to me”, “I don’t have anything of value”. – Is your banking information important? Maybe the code to your garage door that gives access to your home? Or your Facebook account that you’re listed just about everything about you on (remember your relationships within Facebook give A LOT of information about you)
4. We don’t know any better – There’s also those that just don’t know any better, although in this day of age, I think that’s a poor excuse and after this article, you can’t use this one anymore.

The solutions to making strong passwords

General password rules

• Don’t use any common names. No family members, pets, house address, telephone numbers (or part of) etc. Things that are easily identifiable of you. Remember, if I as a human wanted to attempt to break into your Facebook account, I would start by guessing things that I know about you. Your sister’s name, kid’s names, street name etc. Then I’d follow up by adding the number 1. Example: jonny, jonny1, princess, princess2010.
• Don’t give out your password to anyone. This is common sense, but people still do this.  It’s a password to keep people out. Don’t trust anyone because you never know. They might be your best friend today, but will they be tomorrow? I can’t believe the number of times were people that barely knew me gave me their account information to get into their services. If I wanted to (which I would never do), I could have changed their passwords and lock them out of their own services or worse…
• Change your passwords every once in a while. I won’t go into paranoid mode, but change your passwords every 6-12 months. It’s an added level of security.
• Don’t use the “remember me” feature on public computers or a computer that other have access to. It leaves it wide open for the next person to come and jump right back in. On the same idea, log out of the service when you leave. Don’t just close the browser. You could be setting yourself up for the same situation.

Passphrases

I learned this trick years back. The idea is that a random phrase is easier to remember and harder to crack then a short password of random characters and numbers (there are exponentially more combination possibilities). Mix in a few symbol replacements and numbers and you have a decent password. Here’s an example (don’t use this as your own password since it’s publicly listed):

Compare:

Note that I replaced spaces with hyphen since some website’s won’t allow spaces in the password.

The key is in picking random phrases that you can remember and replacing some of the characters with numbers, symbols and uppercase letters.

Other Tools

So you know have a little trick to create better passwords that are easier to remember. I possibly even managed to get you to “upgrade” your password to something more random, stronger and easier to remember. So now you don’t need that sticky note on your computer that says “password123”.

But wait, you’re saying “I have well over 20 different services that require a password. I won’t be able to remember all of them”. You’re probably right and you don’t want to use that same password of all your services (that’s bad remember). Let me introduce you to a little free tool that I can’t live without, KeePass.

Let’s quickly look at why I like it.

• It’s FREE – hello!
• It encrypts your password file
• Runs on Windows, Linux, Mac, Windows Mobile Phone, iPhone,  iPad,  Android, Blackberry, Portable Apps, PocketPC (am I missing something?)
• Strong random password generator
• Can be used in conjunction with your browser
• Group passwords
• Password to open the encrypted master list

If you have a Dropbox account (free), you can even make your password file available to you everywhere (I have mine synced to my work PC, phone, laptop, Portable Apps USB, Android tablet and my Linux test computer)

There are many more features, but those are the ones I really like. I use the program so I don’t have to remember my passwords on the services I don’t visit frequently. I just open the program, enter my KeePass password and have access to all my passwords. I can easily copy and paste the passwords from the program and don’t have to care about how long or complicated the password is. It’s copy and paste.

When done, close the program and the file is locked down again. If I maded changes to the password list and I’m keeping my password file in Dropbox, then all my devices and computers are updated too.

So really, I have about 5 good passphrases that I use for common services I access all the time and one for KeePass. The rest of my passwords are all stored in KeePass and are at least 14 random characters long, each one different.

Conclusion

Good password creation and management isn’t hard. Some people just need a little push in the right direction. Don’t be lazy. Go upgrade your passwords right now, you’re well overdue. At the same time, share this article with everyone you know that uses a computer. Odds are, they’re in the same boat.

Hopefully this is the push people need and don’t wait until it’s too late and their accounts are compromised.

So what’s your password?

Image by The Welsh Poppy

Today we live in an unfortunate world were divorce and accepting low relationship standard seems to be the norm. We’re glued to our technology and our jobs. We try to dump money into our problems to solve them and all we end up doing is creating a bigger problem. We seem to accept that after being married and having children, that it’s more important to provide for the family and gain more material possessions then to continue to grow our relationship with our partner. When we finally realize that that hasn’t fixed the issue we resort to separation or divorce which society seems to have accepted as a satisfactory solution. That’s wrong and I think my unconventional relationship journey with my wife has helped battle through these cheep society standards

To understand my observations, you have to know our storey.

My wife (Joelle) and I met over 16 years ago; at the age of 16, while both working at a grocery store. She was a cashier and I was a grocery packer (when there use to be customer service). At first I didn’t really notice her. It was just one Friday evening as I was finishing work that I happen to go through her cash to by some snacks for the evening. I was having a few friends over that night just to hang out. I decided to invite Joelle to come over and join us if she wanted. I had invited other coworkers too. I had no other intentions but for that. Just to have people around. I barely even knew her name.

She decided to accept my invitation and she came over that night. I believe all of us ended up just watching TV and talking.

The next day (Saturday), she called me and asked if I wanted to go play bowling with her and her friends that night. I accepted. Upon arriving at her house I met all her friends. She had invited a good group of them. I was a little intimidated at first but that quickly grew old. We enjoyed the evening and I went home after that.

Sunday came around and somehow I ended up going to the mall with her and her best friend to look for shoes (I believe). I don’t know what I was thinking because I’m not into shopping for clothes. I was really just going for the sake of going out and doing something on a Sunday rather than staying at home.

I was invited to eat supper at Joelle’s house that evening.  I don’t recall much except for when I was about to leave to go home. I did something just out of the blue. For no real reason other then what I can presume was “being cool” and the “next step”, I asked Joelle if she would go out with me as official boyfriend/ girlfriend. She said yes and we kissed.

In the very beginning of our relationship, I didn’t have that incredible “love” feeling I have today. I “liked” her, but I didn’t “love her”. I think I was just doing this for the sake of saying “we were going out” and “I have a girlfriend”. Time went by and we continued to see each other whenever we could. We both went to different schools and basically saw each other on some nights when we worked together and on weekends.

We ”talked” on the phone every night (really we did the standard teenage thing of holding the phone up to our ear and saying nothing, while doing something else like watching the TV). We went to a few parties with friends and watched a lot of TV together. We really did became best friends and our relationship grew into love the more we learned about each other.

We both had things about each other that we didn’t really “enjoy” that much. I won’t list mine, but I know Joelle dislike that fact that I would never miss school to go see her on days when she had no school. I never wanted to miss a day of school. As she put it, I was a “goody, goody”. I also enjoyed curling which I played professionally and my winters were consumed by it. She never understood the game and watching it for 3 hours without really understanding what it’s about, it’s boring.

We learned to adapt to our differences. I quickly learned that Joelle was very persistent on getting what she wanted and nothing was going to get in the way of her life’s plan. That’s a quality I truly admire in her and need from her as you’ll see.

Joelle knew she wanted to be married, own a house and have 3-4 children by the age of 30. I on the other hand, never really knew what I wanted or planned ahead. I wasn’t good with managing my money, couldn’t tell you what I really wanted to be or what my plan was going to be for tomorrow. As they say, opposites attract and I unknowingly for the better, found the match to my kindling.

As time went on, I grew more and more in love and before I knew it at the age of 21, Joelle was bringing me to the church to meet the priest. Oh, this is good.

I hadn’t proposed or anything, but of course Joelle had hinted MANY times. After 5 years of being together, she knew how I operated (I needed to be nudged along the way).  Joelle one day decides to grab me and say “Come with me, we’re just going to go meet the priest. When we get married, I want to make sure we can get married at this church”. I thought to myself, “Ya, when we get married” and went along.

We met the priest and not 5 minutes after, somehow Joelle was booking the date with the priest in his agenda and giving all our information. I was just waiting for the priest to notice that Joelle didn’t have a ring or ask when I had proposed. Next thing I knew, we’re walking out of the church, Joelle has a big smile on her face and I was more confused than ever. I loved Joelle very much but not being the “plan guy”, I now had a deadline on proposing to Joelle. Needless to say, I proposed a few months later.

At this point, I had been living at Joelle’s parent’s house for some time now. The goal was to save most of my salary (I was working full time in sales) for us to buy a house eventually. We made arranged to have a real estate agent just show us a few houses. I knew eventually we’d move out, but again being the relaxed, unplanned person I was, it wasn’t really in my unwritten life plan. We looked at a few homes and nothing jumped out.

One day, Joelle was driving around and noticed a for sale sign on a lawn. She called our agent and he said it wasn’t listed yet. The sign had literally just been put on the lawn. Luckily our agent knew the other agent and they agreed to let us see the house within a few hours. We visited the house. Nothing really jumped out at me (I don’t think any house would have), but Joelle and the agent seem to think this was the one, so we made an offer right away and we got the house that night within hours. Man, talk about getting your life’s plan written for you (someone had to bring some sense of organization to my life and I’m truly glad my wife did/ does that – as the movie quote goes “she completes me”).

So now at 22 years old, I was married and own a house. What’s left? Oh ya, the children. At the age of 24, my wife and I brought into this world, our wonderful twin boys Jakob and Jeremy. Was I stressed out? YOU BET. Where was the money going to come from? What about our free time, the things we loved to do? I wasn’t ready for all of these things (I don’t think anyone ever is). Everything over the past few years had happened so quickly.

I was happy and at the same time very stressed out. A few years later at the age 27, we had our 3^rd boy and at 29 years old we had our 4^th boy.  Over the years, Joelle and I learned to deal with the pressure. I can’t say everything went smoothly. We learned to just do what we needed to do for our kids. Over the years that meant putting our own relationship on the back burner. I also didn’t deal with stress that well. I would go quiet and just become complacent. That wasn’t good on our relationship.

During our stressful times, I would work more and more and spend less time with the family. I thought if I worked more, it would bring in more money (it did) and in turn the stress would go away.

The stress and strain on our relationship didn’t go away. It just got worse and I think both Joelle and I just tried to cover it up.

Now I can’t speak for my wife; however I know that a very strong motivating factor for me to keep going and work things out was my childhood. I had vowed not to have the same faith occur to my kids as what had happened to me growing up.

Both my wife and I come from divorced parents. We experienced what happens when things don’t work out for whatever reason.  I don’t blame my parents (nor have I ever) for the decisions they made. They were their decisions and I strongly respect them. I didn’t always agree with their ways of dealing with the divorced, but that did strongly influence my willingness to work on my own relationship.

Over the past few years, my wife and I have worked harder and harder on our own relationship. I have consciously tried to spend more time with the family and Joelle and work less. I no longer care about making more money to feel less stressful. I have realized that the more money we make, the more we just spend and it doesn’t fix anything.

I have started doing sports and things I enjoy with my kids. The twins and I have discovered a passion for snowboarding that only the 3 of us share. It’s something that we bond over. All 4 kids truly enjoy soccer in the summer and for 3 years I coached them. I now try to go play outside with the kids more instead of staying in front of my computer all the time. The kids are happier and love to show off what they can do on their skateboards, bikes, pogo sticks (yeah they still exist) or casterboards or any other activity. I actually enjoy trying to show them how to improve on their skills (although now they’re at the point of teaching me).

The relationship between my wife and I has grown stronger then it has ever been. I think we did things backward. Instead of the stereotypical relationship where all the passion and caring is done in the beginning stages and then fades, we did the opposite. In the very beginning when we started going out, I didn’t have the same passion for my wife as I do today. We had what I can only consider a more complacent relationship. It was “cool” to be in a relationship. Over time we grew to know each other more and love each other more, which I think people today don’t focus on.

It’s the simple things that are most important to our relationship. A simple kiss before going off to work in the morning to my wife and kids (although only my youngest wants one, the older boys thinks it’s weird), a hug to my wife when I come home at night, going to bed together at night and of course a little tap or grab of the butt cheek when no one can see. Expressing ourselves has also been part of it. Just sharing little things has really opened up our relationship.

Some of our closest friends have noticed the changes over the years and made comments such as “What’s going on with the two of you lately? You’re like two little teenagers”. We just smile and say “What are you talking about?” while thinking to ourselves, people only wish that they could be in our current state.

So what am I saying with all of this? You have to work hard on your relationship with your partner and not fall into societies low standards trap. Take more time and really look at what’s important. I think sometimes people try to do everything for their children thinking that it will help their relationship. They work so hard on giving everything to their children that they forget about the love that created those children.

We live in a world that accepts divorce and complacency like it’s a standard. That’s wrong and unfortunate. Don’t wait until tomorrow. Start now. It’s as simple as giving your partner that passionate kiss that warms you up (not a cheap peck on the cheek like you’re kissing your grandma), a good 30 second hug first thing when you get in from work (no other words exchanged first), sending a text with only “I love you, have a great day” (don’t tell me you don’t text. I see everyone glued to their phones texting and almost walking into walls), or if your partner is next to you right now, just reach over and hold their hand.

There’s no reason you can’t do at least one of those each day. They’re simple things we all use to do, but somehow might have faded away over the years as society seems to have tagged them as being “childish” or “teenage behaviour”. Let’s change that. You’re relationship will thank you.

I for one am happy to feel in love like a teenager again and not care what others think. Let them look in awe. I’ll keep enjoying my marriage.